Dealing with Anxiety / Depression ☹

Anxiety and depression hit me at a very young age , I think I just turned 13 when it did and I’m still struggling with it. I know I am not the only one, most people have suffered from it at some point in their lives, especially teenagers. The thing about this « anxiety » is that it takes over you without you even realizing it. Once you get used to it, you don’t feel the need to fight it, which is the worst part. For me, my anxiety totally changed me. I was never a very confident person, I didn’t believe in myself that much which made it easier for my anxiety to ruin me but I think what triggered the whole thing was my acne. I had quite horrible skin and it made me feel so bad. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. I hated looking and feeling ugly. Most of all, I hated myself for not being able to do a thing about it. As a result, DEPRESSION which means I had no more self esteem,no confidence, and I was full of negativity. Negative thoughts, negative energy, negative behaviour.. I barely smiled or laughed. It was very rare for me not to have anxious thoughts. I became weak, vulnerable and always unhappy. It affected my social life, I became a loner. I rarely talked to anyone and there were these days when I didn’t want to leave the house because I didn’t want to see anyone and I didn’t want anyone to see me. As it got worse, I became scared of everything , terrified  of life. I was scared to try new things, scared to say « Yes ». It was horrible and it still is because I regret not doing a lot of things. That’s what pisses me off about anxiety, not only it ruins your life but even when it goes away, it doesn’t , not completely. It leaves you with this feeling of regret. «  Why didn’t I do this ? » or « I wish I’d done that ».  But, you know, when you think about it, it’s just a psychological disorder which means it’s coming from YOU and the only one who can push it away is YOU.  It’s in YOUR hands. Only YOU can fight your inner demons ! After all, what will happen that’s so terrifying ? What will happen if you just said « Yes » ? Will you die ?I don’t think so. You shouldn’t let it control you. You should fight back !  Your mind keeps saying «  You’re never gonna do it », « There’s no point of doing it », « What if it goes wrong ? », « What if this or that happens ? » and you  know it’s bullshit but you still believe it, well YOU SHOULD NOT.  Instead of giving yourself reasons why you can’t, give yourself reasons why you can. Do whatever you want to do and don’t overthink it. Just do it and say « THERE, I DID IT. I CAN DO IT, SEE ? » You only live once so make the most out of your days. You get one chance to do anything and everything you want. Don’t let something like this ruin experiences for you, don’t miss out on opportunities ! There’s nothing  to be afraid of. Even if anxiety keeps pushing its way back in, fight it. Even if the voices inside your head are telling you that you’re worthless and that you can’t do it, prove them wrong because in reality, they are wrong ! You’re a human being, God’s greatest creation. You’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’re talented in ways you maybe haven’t discovered yet, you’re a great person, you’re kind, you’re strong, you’re full of light, you’re loved, you’re different, you’re unique, you’re YOU ! How could someone with all these qualities feel bad about themselves ? You’re hell of a lot more than you think . And if you think nobody cares for you and everyone doesn’t like you, then you are SO wrong because that is SO not true. You don’t know everyone, you don’t know what everyone thinks and YOU SHOULD NOT CARE. Worry less ,be happy ! It’s simple.

Personally, for the past couple of months, I’ve been saying Yes more often, trying a lot of things and pushing away all kinds of negativity and honestly, I’ve never been better. I finally got over it and I was surprised to see how my life became : my relationships with people, with my friends and family, the way I feel about myself, the way I feel about life.. It all changed , in a very positive way ,of course. It has improved my confidence and made me a more positive person and with positivity comes happiness ! It really is in YOUR hands ! so I want you to make a change. It’s way easier than it sounds, trust me. Make the first thought you have in the morning a positive one. Everytime an anxious thought crosses your mind, don’t listen to it. Say « Hell no ! Nope, I’m not listening because you are wrong and you’re a waste of time and you’re just trying to ruin my day and I’m not going to let you ! »

 Also, I want you to say YES more often. Don’t choose « no » because it’s the easier option.  You won’t regret it, instead you will enjoy it and everytime you look back you’ll say « I’m so glad I did that ». After all, what could go wrong ? What could be worse than you giving up to some negative thoughts ? What could be worse than negativity controlling your life ? You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind.

Do whatever the heck makes you happy and don’t think about what comes next. Live for the moment !  Don’t let anything hold you back ! I believe in you and you should believe in yourself because you are one of a kind. I love you and you should love yourself because Garnier, you’re worth it. (sorry I just had to, lol)  ❤❤